Sex and intimacy coach Irene Fehr previously told Elite Daily that using small and playful physical gestures can help build sexual anticipation. Routines, no matter what they consist of, inevitably become boring over time. If you've been having sex, try not to make it part of a routine. If you haven't had sex yet, then giving it some time - time to get to know each other on a deeper level, if that’s what your mutual intentions are - will make the sex more meaningful ( hookups are a different story). Sure, spur of the moment things are exciting in their own way, but building sexual tension over time can bring more thrill to a relationship, regardless of if you’re having sex with someone or not. Sex can be wonderful, but as with many wonderful things, it becomes even more wonderful when you have time to let the anticipation for it grow. "A one-sided relationship is similar to a group project where one person has to work harder than all the others to get a good grade, except in relationships, you don’t get a good grade unless both people in the relationship do the hard work.'' 3. Christie Kederian, a licensed marriage and family therapist, previously told Elite Daily. “For a relationship to be healthy, both partners must be putting in the work equally,” Dr. Making someone want to work to get you is synonymous with making him or her want you, in general. Reciprocation is the key to any working relationship. You want the other person to work for you, just as your partner will want to make you work for them. Nothing extreme, of course, just a nice bit of tension to keep things exciting. Playing hard to get is a two-player game. You want your crush to want to make an effort to keep you around. But you do want them to feel like they should be giving you their best around you. This isn't to say your crush must always be on his or her toes, always making sure to give you attention, and putting in an enormous amount of effort - that's exhausting. You want the person you're dating to always be making an effort. Make your crush work for it, but don't forget to put in some effort yourself. Find a happy in-between - playful give-and-take can be a good thing. If they don’t feel that you care, they will call it quits. However, be careful about not giving your crush enough attention. Holding back a little at times can give them a nice reminder of what they’re missing, of how amazing it feels to receive your attention when you choose to give it, which again, doesn’t have to be 24/7. No partner should constantly be working for your attention, but they definitely need to be giving a little bit of effort. So, when does it cross over? When they no longer feel like they need to work for your attention.
You’ll have to get into your crush’s or partner’s head to figure out how much attention is too much (or they’ll just tell you). Just as people have limits as far as how much they can handle, they also have minimums as far as how little they're willing to accept. Give the attention they need, but not the attention they want. Remember, as much as this is for you, it's also for your crush.
#ART OF CHARM PLAYING HARD TO GET HOW TO#
If you want to know how to play hard to get in an exciting, positive way, you're going to want to play the game carefully and thoughtfully.
You don't want to play hard to get at the expense of another’s mental health and happiness. After all, you are interested in them, no? Maintaining a strong sense of respect for each other is essential. When you play hard to get, take into account the other person. Everyone has different limits, expectations, and definitions of love. It's a fine, fuzzy line.īefore diving in, it’s important to first think about if you’re approaching it from the right place and if your partner or crush will also be into it. Whoever was playing hard to get was playing wrong or playing too hard to get. The problem with playing hard to get is that it backfires sometimes. Perhaps a better way to frame playing hard to get is to think of it as building anticipation. The art of the chase can spice up relationships both existing and new. When done correctly, it can give relationships an extra bit of excitement. Playing hard to get may seem pointless, but it’s not always.
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